A few months back, a girl whom I now call one of my closest
friends came into town and we decided to meet for the first time. I had been talking to her for about a month
on a regular basis and we were finally going to meet for the first time. She was going to go out to a bar with a few
of her friends, so she invited me to join them so our meeting could be
casual. I accepted the invite not
knowing how epic it was going to be.
So we meet up at her friend L’s apartment for a few
beers. The plan for the night was to go
to Blake’s, which I couldn’t pass up because I love that bar. I immediately hit it off with her friend A
and he rides with me to Blake’s while C (my “date”) and L ride separately. As soon as we park in a neighbor hood around
the corner from the bar and get out, pretty much everyone has to pee. Then and
there all four of us bonded with a group squat behind random vehicles parked on
the side of the road. Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.
As soon as we get in line, A sees a guy he knows and they
start chatting. In the mean time, the guy’s significant other is throwing us all
death stares, that could only be described as the expressions on the faces of
the rappers in this video: http://youtu.be/tT3htTWBogU
We enter the bar and A is in full party mode, he’s buying
shots and beers left and right and that’s when the chase starts. I really think
this guy knew half the people in the bar! After taking a shot, myself and C get
a beer and sit down. L is running interference on A because I believe that beer
goggles have started to take effect at this point. A friendly and creepy
gentleman (with bad breath) sits down next to C and starts chatting away in a thick French accent. She
somehow discovers that this guy can speak Spanish, then proceeds to ask him if
he can continue his jabber in Spanish because she can understand him
better. Awesome. The guy rewards C’s
request by grabbing her boob and I swoop in to tell him he’s violated my
girlfriend and we don’t appreciate it.
We get up and go join A and L only to be gifted with more
beers as we chase A out the side door to the patio. At this point A is flirting with any and
everyone, and we are just trying to keep him from making a regretful decision,
specifically with a being who looks like a wildebeest and has taken a liking to
A. At this point I’m scared to intercept
on that one, because this guy is seriously scary. Somehow we devise a plan to get
A away from this creature and all is good for a minute.
Remember that guy from earlier with the death stares? Well
he reenters the picture. I don’t think
his mother warned him that his ugly facial expressions would stick, because he
was still making them. Well, this time
he was coming back for vengeance and we were not going to be there for this
sword fight. It was time to call it a night.
What I learned from this evening is that a group pee can
instantly bond you with new people, some folks understand a foreign language
better than their native and the “Ratchet Girl” facial expression is never
cute. Also, friends don’t let friends get too cozy with a wildebeest….
