A group of friends and I were at a local bar (The Highlander) waiting on a pool table. We let the couple playing know that we were next in line and they said they'd make sure we got the table next. As soon as they finished, some random guy who looked like he fell out of the Mystery Machine tried to pull a line cut. We approached the guy, and I guess he was so fucked up, he didn’t put up much of a fight. After we started our first game, he decided to make himself a permanent fixture next to our table by flirting with one of my friends. His pick up technique made absolutely no sense. It included introducing himself as "Lenny", showing off his knuckle scars and claiming he had punched a fence. He also claimed that my friend “looked like an artist”. Right on buddy, 'Cuz every girl loves those pick up lines.
After a few games, he decided that when he got the table he wanted to play our group (which included 5 people). I don’t know what he was drinking (or smoking, or snorting) but that kind of confidence is very rare from someone whose out on the town get up included a navy bootleg Member’s Only jacket and flip flops (which I was able to receive a confirmation from the asshole himself that his jacket was not Member’s Only, but straight up surf, whatever that means). As sad as this guy looked, we pity played a 5 on 1 game. After a few of his ridiculous pool shots, which consisted of a shot and allowing his arms to glade off into some universe not seen by the naked eye, we knew we had this game in the bag. After getting his ass kicked, our challenger excused himself to play his battle song on the jukebox. He chose possibly the worst Kiss song ever made, “Shout It Out Loud”. On the way back to the table, he somehow managed to offend more of the bar patrons. I was personally offended when he challenged us to yet another game. This time he wanted to play the two girls in the group who were the best which included me and my date.
He lost again, which probably comes as a big surprise to you considering Kiss was playing on the jukebox. At this point, dude was pissed. You’d think he had lost his man card or something when he began to talk scrambled shit and shoot cross eyed dirty looks at us.
All the sudden in an interesting turn of events, security was escorting him out. Bye Lenny! Apparently, this guy and his friend (who I’m upset to this day I wasn’t able to meet) had pissed off too many of the regulars and were no longer welcome in this fine establishment. Well shit, there goes my entertainment for the evening. Its ok though, I’m pretty sure Shaggy and Scooby needed him more.
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