I met you at a speed dating event. You were cute and nice. What really intrigued me was your response to what you do for a living. You said “International Man of Mystery”, and I knew right then and there I wanted to find out what that mystery was.
We went out on our first date the following week, to a nice Italian restaurant. I was impressed. You ordered us a nice bottle of red, again I was impressed. Then our food came and I looked down at my dish to scope out the goods. When I looked up I noticed that you had removed your two front teeth, I was not impressed.
Who the fuck takes out their teeth on the first date without some kind of warning to the other person????
Well, looks like I solved that mystery.
Well, looks like I solved that mystery.
If you’re wondering why you never heard back from me, it’s because this was a dodged connection. I didn’t want you to have to continually dodge the jokes I could have come up with at your expense.
Next time you go out on a date, keep your chompers in your mouth. No poor, unfortunate girl wants to discover that mystery.
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